2 SAMUEL 11-12 – DAVID AND BATHSHEBA – SURVIVORS!
“Many couples are united in wedlock in a rosy fog of optimism. Blinded to the shortcomings, each sees only the other’s good points. But as the excitement of the new marriage wears off, they drift to the opposite extreme and view these same traits as faults. Someone has called this “reverse reasoning,” giving the following examples:
“She married him because he was ‘strong and masculine’
She divorced him because he was a very ‘dominating male.’
He married her because she was so ‘fragile and petite’
He divorced her because she was so ‘weak and helpless.’
She chose him because ‘he knew how to provide a good living’
She left him because ‘all he thought about was the business.’
He married her because she was ‘steady and sensible’
He divorced her because she was ‘boring and dull.'” (H.G.B. – Our Daily Bread, June 3
Okay, let’s face it! Many marriages have had their troubles, and many marriages have ended in divorce. But there are also those who have made it through some rocky times in their current marriage, and have even had successful second marriages in spite of failed first marriages. What do you call people who have a successful marriage in spite of some difficult times?
I call them survivors!
Long before the problems many marriages face today, there were marriages that had their tough moments in the days of the Bible. One such marriage with problems was that of David and Bathsheba. They ended up beingsurvivors. This encourages me that even marriages in trouble have hope!
ROCKY (REGRETFUL) START – 2 Samuel 11
David was a great king, and at this point in his life, fairly mature. He was about 50 years old.
He was a man “after God’s own heart”.
It was David who slew Goliath.
It was David who ran from King Saul who wanted to kill him.
It was David who wrote the 23rd Psalm.
It was David who committed the sins listed in this chapter!
What does this teach us? There is not a Christian man or woman who is beyond the realm of temptation. No matter how godly a person may be, he or she must always realize that “Save by the grace of God, there go I.”
David set himself up for the temptation he faced. First, he had multiplied wives and concubines (Deuteronomy 17:15-17). This made him used to having almost any woman he wanted. This would have fed on his lusts. When we disobey God’s rules we will also run the risk of further temptation.
Another thing that David did that helped lead to temptation was that he wasn’t doing his job. He had gotten lazy!
Vs. 1 – This laziness placed David in the wrong place at the wrong time.
My friend, physical and spiritual laziness will lead us to temptation as well. Laziness is really a lack of self-control. Proverbs 25:28, Proverbs 4:23,2 Peter 1:5-7
Many a Christian marriage has failed because a husband or a wife has gotten lazy either physically or Spiritually.
Vs, 2 – David and Bathsheba’s rocky start was a result of David being home, and after an afternoon siesta, taking a walk on the roof of his house, a common thing in that day. Bathsheba was bathing perhaps on the roof of her own house. It was coolest there. The Bible places the blame of the sin upon David, but Bathsheba did not help, bathing where she could be seen.
David, for his part, should have turned away instead of continuing to look upon and inquiring about the identity of this lady. Remember what Joseph did when a lady tried to seduce him? He ran! We must learn to take the “way of escape”. 1 Corinthians 10:13 David did not take the way of escape.
Vs. 3-4 – David inquired as to the identity of Bathsheba, and found out that he was the wife of one of his best and most trusted warriors, Uriah. He committed adultery with Bathsheba.
Vs. 5 – The woman conceived and sent word to David. She was pregnant!
Vss. 6-13 – What does David do? Admit his sin? No, the sweet-psalm singer of Israel tried the cover-up. He sent for Uriah to come home, hoping that Uriah would sleep with his wife, and that it would be assumed that the baby was Uriah’s. Uriah did come home. But he was nobler than the king himself. He would not allow himself the luxury of sleeping with his wife. David, of course, asked why. David even got Uriah drunk, but that didn’t even send him home to his wife.
The rest of the chapter tells us about the terribly wicked thing that David did. He sent a letter back with Uriah to Joab. Joab was told to put Uriah in the fiercest part of the battle and then retreat from him so that he would die. David was guilty of murder.
Vss. 26-27 – Notice this – our sins displease the Lord! David’s did, and
ours will too. Think of this, most of us do not like to have people upset
with us. That’s why so much sin is covered up. But, worse than having
people displeased with us is having God displeased with us.
This marriage was off to a rocky start.
At least the husband, and perhaps the wife was out of fellowship with God.
Both had to live with their guilt.
It is not likely that there would not be good relationships or fellowship
between them.
REPENTANT ADMISSION – 1 Samuel 12:1-9,13
The best things to do with covered up sin are deal with it and bear the consequences.
David did not deal with his sin until he was confronted with it. David was miserable however. Psalm 32:3-4
God had Nathan the prophet expose the sin. Nathan had done a great thing. He confronted David with his sin. Sometimes the best thing we can do to help a person is to confront them. They will not always respond as graciously as David did, but we still have the responsibility. Galatians 6:1
David’s response is classic. 2 Sam 12:13, Psalm 51, Psalm 32:5
When a marriage has a rocky start the best thing to do is to confess.
Confess to the offended party after confessing to God. It does not mean
trouble will go away. Sometimes, like David, the trouble has just begun.
However it is better to face the consequences with God’s help than to face
God’s judgment.
REASONABLE CONSEQUENCES – 2 Samuel 12:10-12, 14-23
God promises discipline for sin. Hebrews 12:5-6
Vss. 10-12 – And God kept His promise. There was bloodshed in David’s household, brother killing brother. There the rebellion of Absalom and the commitment of adultery of Absalom with some of David’s wives. It was done publicly.
Vss. 13-14 – Because of David’s confession, God did not make the punishment worse. He did not die. But, because, David gave the opportunity for the enemies of God to blaspheme, the child did die. Remember this. David was forgiven, but he still paid the consequences for his sins. A marriage in trouble can have the healing touch of God’s forgiveness, but there are often consequences.
Vss. 15-23 – It is important to note that David prayed for the sick child.
Perhaps God would change His mind. But when God said “no”, David stopped fasting and praying, and worshiped and ate. David accepted the consequences with grace.
REMARKABLE BLESSING – 2 Samuel 12:24-25
David and Bathsheba were survivors.
And although they experienced God’s chastisement, they also experienced God’s blessing.
Vss. 24-25 – It is important to note that David was a supportive husband. He comforted his wife. Something us men need to do, especially in times of tragedy. And then God blessed! Another child was born. The child born was Solomon. And it is interesting to note that God loved Solomon and called him, “Beloved of the Lord”, or Jedidiah.
My friends, here is some big encouragement. When we fail God and are chastened, it does not mean the end of the world. God in his grace not only forgives us, even though we live with consequences, but he also will continue to bless us.
A marriage that got a rocky start can end up being a real blessing. But there needs to be open dealing with sin before God and those offended.